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10 “Helpful” Behaviors That Are Actually Passive-Aggressive

ByMichelle Harler Posted onAugust 19, 2023August 13, 2023

Unmask the subtle signs of passive-aggressiveness with our list of 10 “helpful” behaviors that carry a hidden sting. From backhanded compliments to the notorious silent treatment, discover the actions that might be causing tension in your relationships.

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This post may contain affiliate links that earn me a small commission, at no cost to you. As always, I only recommend links I personally use and love!



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We’ve all encountered them: those seemingly helpful or innocent behaviors that carry an undercurrent of hostility. Passive-aggressiveness can be subtle, making it hard to address directly. Yet, its impact on relationships can be significant. Let’s uncover ten behaviors that might seem helpful on the surface but are dripping with passive-aggressive intent.

The Backhanded Compliment

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“You look so much better with makeup on!” or “You’re so brave for wearing that outfit.” These seemingly positive remarks come with a sting, subtly undermining the person they’re directed at.

The Silent Treatment

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Instead of addressing an issue directly, some people choose to give the cold shoulder, making their displeasure known without saying a word. It’s a way of punishing someone without confronting the problem.

Overly Detailed Advice

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Unsolicited advice can be annoying, but when it’s given with excessive detail, it can imply that the person receiving it is incapable or incompetent.

The “Just Joking” Defense

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Making a hurtful comment and then brushing it off with “I was just joking!” allows the speaker to express criticism without taking responsibility for their words.

Constant Lateness

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Always being late can be a way of asserting control or showing that someone else’s time isn’t valued. It sends a message without saying anything outright.

The Favor Overload

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Constantly doing favors or taking on tasks, even when not asked, can be a way of making someone feel indebted or guilty. It’s a subtle form of control.

The Sigh and Eye Roll

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While not verbal, these non-verbal cues loudly express disapproval or annoyance. They’re a way of showing displeasure without addressing it directly.

“I’m Fine”

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Saying everything’s okay when it’s evident that it’s not can be a way of making someone feel guilty or forcing them to coax the real feelings out.

The Neglectful Forgetfulness

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“Oh, I forgot to invite you,” or “I didn’t think you’d want to come.” Convenient forgetfulness can be a way of excluding someone or making them feel unimportant.

Over-Apologizing

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Constantly saying sorry, especially when there’s nothing to apologize for, can be a way of seeking reassurance or making the other person comfort them.

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Michelle Harler
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Michelle Harler is the founder of Guide2Free, a website dedicated to finding and sharing freebies, product testing opportunities, and other ways to save money. With over a decade of experience in the industry, her expertise in finding quality offers makes Guide2Free an invaluable resource for anyone looking to try new products and save money.

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