15 Tips for Anyone Planning on Moving to Florida
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So, you’ve decided to take the plunge and move to Florida, the land of endless sunshine, sandy beaches, and questionable fashion choices. Congratulations! Before you start packing your bags and practicing your best “y’all,” there are a few things you should know about life in the Sunshine State. From the unwritten rules of the road to the sacred art of BBQ, here are 15 essential tips for surviving and thriving in your new Florida home.
The Humidity is Your New Best Frenemy
Forget what you’ve heard about the heat – it’s the humidity that will really get you. In Florida, the air is so thick you can practically swim through it. But don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. Just think of it as a free sauna, minus the peace and quiet.
BBQ is a Way of Life
In Florida, BBQ isn’t just a type of food – it’s a religion. And no, we’re not talking about throwing some burgers on the grill. We’re talking slow-smoked meats, secret rubs, and sauces that will make your taste buds sing. If you’re not a fan of BBQ, you might want to reconsider your move.
Ranch Dressing Goes on Everything
In Florida, ranch dressing is a condiment, a dip, and a way of life. It goes on salads, pizza, fries, and pretty much anything else you can think of. If you’re not a fan of ranch, you might want to keep that to yourself – Floridians take their ranch very seriously.
Parking is a Competitive Sport
In Florida, the value of a parking space has nothing to do with its proximity to the door and everything to do with the availability of shade. If you find a shady spot, you better believe you’re going to fight for it. And if someone tries to steal your spot, well, let’s just say things might get a little heated.
Honking is a No-No
In some places, honking your horn is a way to express frustration or get someone’s attention. In Florida, it’s a surefire way to start a standoff. If you honk at us, we’ll just sit there until the end of time, or until we get hungry – whichever comes first.
We Take Our Emergency Vehicles Seriously
In Florida, we have a deep respect for emergency vehicles. When we hear sirens, we pull over and stop, no matter where we are or what we’re doing. It’s just the right thing to do.
Funeral Processions are Sacred
Speaking of respect, Floridians take funeral processions very seriously. When we see one, we pull over, turn off our music, and remove our hats. Some folks even put their hand over their heart. It’s a small gesture, but it means a lot.
Bless Your Heart
If someone says “bless your heart,” they’re not actually blessing your heart. They’re calling you an idiot, but in the nicest way possible. It’s a Southern thing, and you’ll probably hear it a lot.
Soda, Not Pop
In Florida, we call it soda, not pop. And no matter what brand you prefer – Coke, Pepsi, or Mountain Dew – it’s all just soda to us. And don’t even get us started on sweet tea – it’s a must-have with every meal.
Publix Subs are a Delicacy
If you’ve never had a Publix sub, you haven’t lived. These sandwiches are a Florida institution, and for good reason – they’re delicious. Whether you prefer turkey, ham, or the famous chicken tender sub, you can’t go wrong with a Publix sub.
Gators are Everywhere
In Florida, gators aren’t just mascots – they’re a fact of life. You’ll find them in lakes, ponds, and even on golf courses. If you see one, don’t try to feed it or take a selfie with it. Just back away slowly and let it do its thing.
The Weather is Unpredictable
In Florida, the weather can change at the drop of a hat. One minute it’s sunny and hot, the next it’s pouring rain. And don’t even get us started on hurricane season. The key is to always be prepared – keep an umbrella in your car, and make sure you have plenty of bottled water and canned goods on hand.
South Florida is a Different World
If you’re moving to South Florida, be prepared for a whole different experience. It’s a little bit Miami Vice, a little bit retirement community, and a whole lot of Latin flavor. Make sure you have your passport ready – you might need it to get into some of the hottest clubs and restaurants.
Flip Flops are Formal Wear
In Florida, flip flops aren’t just for the beach – they’re a way of life. You’ll see people wearing them everywhere, from the grocery store to fancy restaurants. And if you’re not comfortable wearing them, well, you might want to rethink your move.
Florida is a State of Mind
At the end of the day, Florida isn’t just a place – it’s a state of mind. It’s about slowing down, soaking up the sun, and enjoying life’s simple pleasures. Whether you’re sipping a margarita on the beach or watching the sunset over the Everglades, Florida has a way of making you feel like everything is going to be alright.
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