17 Forgotten Etiquette Rules We’re Glad Stayed in the Past
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As society evolves, so do our rules of etiquette. What was once considered polite and proper behavior can seem outdated, ridiculous, or even offensive by today’s standards. From rigid fashion rules to restrictive social norms, many of these old-fashioned etiquette guidelines have thankfully fallen by the wayside. Let’s take a lighthearted look at 17 forgotten etiquette rules that we’re glad stayed in the past.
No White After Labor Day
The “no white after Labor Day” rule was a strict fashion dictum that limited the wearing of white clothing to the summer months between Memorial Day and Labor Day. This arbitrary rule was rooted in classism, as it was a way for the wealthy to differentiate themselves from the working class.
The Silent Treatment for Servants
In the past, some wealthy households expected their servants to be practically invisible, moving silently through the house and only speaking when spoken to. This dehumanizing treatment reinforced the rigid class hierarchy of the time. Thankfully, society has progressed to recognize the dignity and respect that all workers deserve, regardless of their profession.
Avoiding Direct Eye Contact
In many cultures and historical periods, direct eye contact was considered confrontational or disrespectful, especially between people of different social standings or genders. This rule was particularly restrictive for women, who were expected to keep their eyes downcast as a sign of modesty.
Men Paying for Everything
The expectation that men should pay for everything when in the company of a woman was once a common etiquette rule. This practice reinforced gender stereotypes and limited women’s financial independence. In modern times, we recognize that relationships should be based on equality and mutual respect, with both parties contributing according to their means and preferences.
Women Couldn’t Dine Alone in Restaurants
In the early 20th century, it was considered improper for a woman to dine alone in a restaurant. This rule was based on the idea that women needed a male escort for protection and propriety. Today, we celebrate the independence and autonomy of women, and the idea of a woman enjoying a meal by herself is no longer taboo.
Hats On for Men, Always
Men were once expected to wear hats at all times when outdoors, removing them only as a sign of respect, such as in church or when greeting a woman. This rule was tied to notions of masculinity and formality, with the hat serving as a symbol of a man’s social status. In contemporary times, hats are more of a fashion choice than a social requirement, and men are free to wear them or not as they please.
No Trousers for Women
For centuries, women were restricted to wearing dresses and skirts, with trousers considered strictly masculine attire. This rule limited women’s freedom of movement and expression, and reinforced rigid gender norms. The rise of the women’s rights movement in the 20th century helped to break down these sartorial barriers, and today, women can wear whatever they feel most comfortable and confident in.
The Gloved Handshake
In the past, it was considered rude for a woman to shake hands without wearing gloves, especially when greeting a man. This rule was tied to notions of cleanliness and propriety, with the gloves serving as a barrier between the skin. Today, we recognize that a firm, bare-handed handshake is a sign of confidence and respect, regardless of gender.
Waiting for a Letter Introduction
Before the age of instant communication, if you wanted to meet someone new, particularly someone of the opposite sex, you had to wait for a formal letter of introduction. This rule was a way of controlling social interactions and maintaining the boundaries of propriety. In the modern age of social media and online dating, we have much more freedom to connect with people based on shared interests and mutual attraction.
Strict Dance Card Rules
At formal dances in the past, women carried dance cards where men would sign up for a turn to dance with them. Once the card was full, the woman was expected to refuse any further invitations. This rule was a way of regulating social interactions and ensuring that everyone had a chance to dance, but it also limited women’s agency and choice. Today, we recognize that everyone should be free to dance with whomever they choose, without arbitrary restrictions.
The Obsession with Ankles
In Victorian times, a woman’s ankles were considered a scandalous sight, and dresses were expected to cover them completely. This rule was part of a larger system of control over women’s bodies and sexuality, with exposed skin seen as immoral and provocative. Today, we recognize that women should be free to dress however they feel most comfortable and confident, without fear of judgment or shame.
Chaperoned Dates
In the past, young couples were often accompanied on dates by a chaperone, usually an older female relative, to ensure that they behaved properly and maintained the boundaries of propriety. This rule was a way of controlling young people’s sexuality and limiting their freedom to explore romantic relationships.
Men Walking on the Outside
It was once considered good manners for a man to walk on the outside of the sidewalk, closest to the street, to protect his female companion from splashes of mud or other hazards. This rule was part of a larger system of gender norms that positioned men as protectors and women as fragile and dependent.
No Public Displays of Affection
Public displays of affection, such as holding hands, hugging, or kissing, were once considered highly inappropriate, especially for unmarried couples. This rule was tied to notions of propriety and the idea that physical affection should be reserved for private moments. In contemporary times, we recognize that consensual displays of affection are a normal and healthy part of relationships, and that everyone should be free to express their love and affection in ways that feel authentic to them.
Silent Breakfasts
In some cultures, it was once considered polite to eat breakfast in complete silence, with conversation reserved for later in the day. This rule was part of a larger system of rigid social norms that dictated appropriate behavior for different times and contexts.
Women Couldn’t Propose
The idea of a woman proposing marriage to a man was once considered utterly taboo, with the expectation that it was always the man’s role to initiate. This rule reinforced rigid gender roles and limited women’s agency in their romantic relationships.
No Writing in Ink for Ladies
In the past, women were expected to write letters in pencil, while men used ink, as pencil was considered more delicate and feminine. This rule was part of a larger system of gender norms that positioned women as fragile and subordinate to men.
Covering the Table Legs
In the Victorian era, even table legs were considered potentially scandalous, and were often covered with cloth to avoid any improper thoughts. This rule was part of a larger culture of repression and control, where even inanimate objects were imbued with sexual meaning.
No Public Laughing for Women
In the past, women were advised to avoid laughing out loud in public, with a soft, restrained giggle considered the most appropriately feminine response. This rule was part of a larger system of control over women’s behavior and expression, with loud laughter seen as unladylike and vulgar.
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